Fuzzybritches’ Lament

“You’re dumb,” Fuzzybritches said. “You’re stupid. You don’t know how to catch a mouse or anything.”

“Aw, you’re so loud, Fuzzy,” said the human.

“I’m loud because you don’t listen! Or are you too stupid to understand me?”

“I know. You’re amazing and deserve all the attention.” She walked back into her closet.

“You obviously don’t know,” said Fuzzybritches, or you’d be doing what I say. When you die, I’m going to peel your skin off and feast on your stupid meats.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll feed you in just a minute.” The human finished dressing and headed to the kitchen.

“You’ll feed me when you die,” Fuzzybritches said, running after her down the hall. The human turned around. “Hey!” cried Fuzzybritches.

The woman reappeared from her bedroom with a book. “That’s not food, stupid. No wonder you can’t catch prey.

“God, you’re so terrible. By all the cats in Egypt, if I were as dumb as you I’d walk out into the road and—” A bowl of food appeared before the cat. “You’re the best! Top class servant of the first water! Five stars, would yell at again.” She watched the cat eating for a moment. “You’re dismissed,” said Fuzzybritches.

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